the hits just keep coming here.
so, saturday when i woke up (i may or may not have posted about this), i had a constant stream of clear goo running from my right nostril. little bit of stuffiness, but definitely some pain and tingling on the right side. fever, achy, etc. went to work anyway. wound up with a nice headache. have had a headache every day since.
started to feel exceptionally ill yesterday, got a terrible headache, again just on the right side of my head. wound up having a surprise panic attack (aren't they all?) on the freeway again. this particular brand of fun lasted about two hours. it was great. i was on my way to lunch with wes. got there, couldn't eat anything, nearly threw up in the parking lot, thought i was dying, thought my headache was an aneurysm, the works. wes was going to drive me home from lunch, but i decided i'd man up and just do it myself. got home and started to cry. this is unusual, i'm not good with crying. i don't do it very often.
anyway, the headache never abated, despite my best efforts. finally broke down and took some tylenol. it still didn't let up. all this time, i'm not really drawing the parallel to the drippy nose and fever i had this weekend (which i didn't treat with anything). i'm massaging my forehead, and it hurts. ...idea strikes. touch all of my right sinuses, hey. they're all excrutiating. and as soon as i touch them, i can feel, from the inside, that they're FULL. i mean, i'm breathing just fine, and i'm not really having any drainage, but there's definitely something going on. start massaging my right masseter, and my ear hurts. possible ear involvement as well.
so, hot towel on the right side of the face. nasal irrigation. voila! post nasal drip. i get up this morning, and cough up something orange. unless someone put some cantaloupe in my nose last night....that tears it. i've got a bloody sinus infection.
this, on the heels of the flu and a resurgence of panic attacks, which i hadn't had in a very long time, and i don't know if i've ever had them this frequently. they take it out of me. afterwards, i have to lay down and have a good nap, and i usually wake up pretty depressed.
i've got an appointment tonight with a woman from the bio self emergence institute in southfield. i've gotten numerous recommendations to go see her from close friends. ye ol primary care physician is bugging me to go get counseling, as she says panic attacks are a sign that something deep inside you is very wrong and crying for help. i figure i'll go see donna @ the bse first, and perhaps start traditional therapy later.
something i found interesting...i was reading about either a tcm or ayurvedic view of sinus infections, and how they tend to be linked to people who cannot, or will not, cry. ...yep. sounds about right.
add in the ear pain and the dizziness, and there's probably an ear infection going on too. we'll see. sinus infections really shouldn't be treated with antibiotics, in my opinion, but i don't know about what may well prove to be an inner ear infection (makes sense, and fits a whole hell of a lot of stuff i've had going on lately). sinus infections usually do well with nasal irrigation and hot towels and steams and stuff, which i've started on. i AM going to my primary care physician today, but mainly to confirm ear infection, and to see what she recommends. also possibly for some antivert. i'm not really one to treat symptoms with pharmaceuticals (so no xanax for the panic attacks), but if you've ever had vertigo....for weeks at a time...it is one of the most disconcerting and awful things i can think of.
the thing is, i've gotten antivert in the past for an inner ear infection, and then never took it. sometimes having the safety net helps. i have a bottle of xanax in my purse, i've never taken so much as a half. (usually, when i have a panic attack, i think i'm dying anyway, so i'm even less likely to take it, since my panicking self usually tells my brain, oh, you're having an aneurysm/viral meningitis/a heart attack/whatever, if you take a xanax, you'll fall asleep and die.)
in the process of making an appointment with an herbalist i respect highly to discuss some things i've noticed and see what his recommendations are. i'm good at helping other people...i suck at helping myself.